Breakaway
by xxDodo
Summary: Merlin always wanted to understand his "gifts", to be recognized for what he went through. But maybe that's not all that really matters. Merlin's thoughts and feelings up to s01ep10. R&R please!


**A/N: So, this is my first songfic, so review and tell me how I did! Praise is greatly appreciated, concrit is welcome, and even a flame never fails to entertain me ^_^. Enjoy the Merlin-ness!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC's Merlin. Seriously, I would be fighting to air the fourth series this weekend instead of writing this. Nor do I own the song "Breakaway", it belongs to Kelly Clarkson. **

**

* * *

**

_Grew up in a small town  
And when the rain would fall down  
I'd just stare out my window  
Dreaming of what could be  
And if I'd end up happy  
I would pray_

"MERLIN!" Old man Simmons was furious. The smallest babe could see that. Will and Merlin were frozen, eyes wide. Merlin wanted to kick himself for being so careless and trying to use magic as a shortcut. "Don't you idiot boys watch where your chopping the damn tree? I could have been killed!" the old man roared.

Merlin winced a little, but Will had an ever cheeky response. "We don't choose where the tree falls sir. And I can't believe you didn't hear us shouting 'Timber!'" He was wise enough not to mention that the old man being flattened might not have been such a bad thing.

Old man Simmons aimed a swipe at Will's head, and he quickly ducked, not helping the elder man's temper. "I'm surprised two weaklings like you were even able to fell that tree," he growled suspiciously.

Merlin grinned and cocked his head. "We're stronger then we look." The two boys flexed their arms for good measure. Old man Simmons's face was just about red from fury, and Will and Merlin tried not to laugh at the comedic expression.

"Both of you can spend the rest of the week repairing that house and resowing the damaged field!"

As the old man walked away, Merlin let out a pent up breath. "I'm sure he hates me now."

Will chuckled and clapped his friend on the shoulder, giving a small smirk. "Ah well, he never liked you anyway."

The two laughed the incident away, more relieved that Merlin's secret was safe than anything. However, Merlin got quite a lecture about the dangers of being discovered from his mother, and went to bed without dinner. He lay on the hard floor, wondering if he would always have to hide his magic and be punished for ever using it. The thought was depressing.

_Trying hard to reach out  
But when I tried to speak out  
Felt like no one could hear me  
__Wanted to belong here  
But something felt so wrong here  
__So I'd pray  
I could break away_

Before Will knew of Merlin's magic, he tried hard to refrain from using it in front of him for fear of being rejected. But he couldn't stand to see his best friend so upset.

Will had run into the woods on the day he learned of his father's death. His mother had sought Merlin out, knowing he would be able to talk to her son.

Merlin found Will sitting on an old log, staring at the ground with dead eyes and silent tears streaming down his face. Merlin's heart had gone out to his grieving friend and he had taken a seat next to Will, planning on just giving silent comfort until Will was ready to talk. That was before the guilt started to set in.

Merlin heard Will's broken voice. "Damn nobles. Think that they own their men, not caring about a single one. Claiming the sacrifices are for the 'greater good'." His voice was bitter and Merlin opened his mouth wanting to say something, then closed it not knowing exactly what it was.

Will continued, "The only good people in this world, Merlin, are those who stay by you despite the differences, who you know you can trust because they've always been with you." Here Will glanced at Merlin, who was staring at the ground. Will's next words were soft and grateful, "Like you, Merlin. Thank you."

Merlin's throat closed. Will trusted him, but Merlin couldn't even bring himself to confide his greatest burden. That was when Merlin decided that Will had a right to know. He looked up to see Will watching him curiously. He started tentatively, "Will, there's something you should know. Something I should have told you a long time ago." Will was watching him, bewilderment and a little fear on his face.

Merlin lifted his hand and didn't even have to say anything before his eyes flashed a brilliant gold and the leaves around them started swirling. A few moments later one of them flew to Merlin's hand. It was a beautiful red-orange, proof of the ending autumn season.

Will was speechless for a moment, his mouth open. He was silent for so long that Merlin started to worry a bit. He tried to speak, "Will, I wanted to tell you, but my mother-" He didn't get to finish before Will started babbling excitedly.

"Woah! Can you do more stuff? Will you show me? Is that how we always got out of the near impossible situations that I put us in? Why didn't you tell me?"

Merlin couldn't stop the huge grin from spreading onto his face. "I can do loads, but I really can't control it most times. Yes, I'm always our savior from your insane ideas. I didn't know whether you'd still like me." The last admittance came out a little ashamedly.

Will gave a half-smile. "You really know how to cheer a fella up Merlin." He was still devastated over his father death, but now Will realized how much of a friend Merlin was. He always helped others, a bit of a push-over really, yet he always had to hide who he really was. He couldn't ask for a dearer friend than Merlin.

Of course, the warlock's mother did not quite see it that. "What were you thinking?" she had admonished him angrily.

Merlin didn't want to explain again.. No one understood. So he just said in a sort of dead voice, "Mother, I'm tired of pretending. Will is my best friend. If I can't trust him, I can't trust anyone."

Hunith was silent for a moment. Merlin turned and walked outside.

Over the next several weeks Will and Merlin had immense fun using magic, including almost flattening old man Simmons. Merlin had never felt better. He finally had someone to share his powers with, his mother not exactly being the best partner in crime. He still had to hide of course, but he tried to ignore the feeling of not belonging.

Then, one day, his mother gave him an opportunity that he knew could change everything. She told him of Camelot, and of a dear friend she had there. Will, surprisingly, encouraged him to go.

"I know you don't like it here, mate. Don't stay because of me. Just be careful of those nobles, eh?"

So Merlin left, impossibly excited for a new life.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.  
Make a wish, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away.  
Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.  
I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away_

When you're an inexperienced warlock, the first sight upon entering your new home being a civilian executed for sorcery is not pleasant. Merlin had half a mind to turn around then and there. But did he really want to live as he was in Ealdor? Become an ordinary farmer, and never realizing what his magic's purpose was? More cautiously then, he continued on to Gaius's chambers.

Then, being Merlin, he immediately exposed his magic to the physician by magicking a bed to cushion the man's fall, which Merlin had inadvertently caused in the first place. Gaius, of course, warned him sternly of the consequences of using his magic, Merlin being strongly reminded of his mother.

_Wanna feel the warm breeze  
Sleep under a palm tree  
Feel the rush of the ocean  
Get on board a fast train  
Travel on a jet plane  
Far away  
And break away  
_

The dragon told him of his great destiny with Arthur. Merlin hated having his life planned out for him, especially when he was supposed to protect that prat of a prince. But when he saved Arthur's life from the revengeful sorceress, it had been instinctive. He just couldn't let him die. Of course, being granted the job of His Royal Highness's manservant wasn't the best reward anyway. Merlin still could have left, but there was nothing for him in Ealdor.

He was tired of doing odd jobs for the villagers. He wanted to see the world, to help people, to learn more of his magic and destiny and this all-powerful warlock business. There were so many dreams flying around his head, it was enough to have anyone yearning for more than a few fields and a couple of cows.

And after saving Arthur's life so many times, it was impossible for Merlin to go back. The prince would probably get himself killed the moment he left the castle.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.  
Make a wish, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away.  
Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.  
I'll take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away  
_

Despite missing his mother, Will, and all the villagers dearly (well, maybe not old man Simmons that dearly), Merlin still found amazing friends. Gwen was the first, with her awkward back-peddling but good heart. Noble Lancelot, a knight in every way but birth and one of the very few people privy to Merlin's secret. Morgana, never afraid to speak her mind to even the king and probably the bravest woman Merlin knew. Gaius had been a wonderful surrogate father, trying to help Merlin and point him the right direction whenever he was feeling lost.

Then there was Arthur. The other side of the coin with Merlin, the basis for Merlin's destiny, probably the closest friend Merlin had ever had next to Will, and neither of them would admit it. His friendship with Arthur was enough for Merlin to stay in Camelot.

Not to mention the prat would be dead ten times over if not for his magical interventions.

_Buildings with a hundred floors  
Swinging with revolving doors  
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me  
Gotta keep movin' on movin' on  
Fly away  
Break away_

He would still lurk in the shadows, but that was how it should be for now. It was not about being recognized any more for Merlin, more of making sure the people he cares about are safe and happy. And when Arthur's rule began, Merlin was sure to be standing by his king every step of the way. When the time was right.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.  
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye  
Take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away.  
__Out of the darkness and into the sun.  
But I won't forget the place I come from  
I gotta take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away  
__Break away  
__Break away _

_

* * *

_

**A/N: It's so important to me that I'll say it again! Please review! Favorites are great but I really want to know what you think!**

**-Dodo**


End file.
